One of them was only in her fifties when she died. I didn't know a lot, until I saw you. I know my actions have never made sense to you but at the time, I did what I thought was right for me and my family. When you called later that day, I was pleasantly surprised. I could not look you in the eyes, fear of rejection. I want to feel the warmth of your kiss and whisper words of love into your ear. To the love of my life, Every occasion I give you a cliché, cheesy, white girl gift.
Dear Zindagi, I have poured my heart out to you and I am sure you shall forgive me for being a moron and not understanding your true worth earlier. I am sorry for the times I randomly start crying while watching television. I love my kids, my grand kids and your sons with every beat of my heart. Fear that this was the moment I would lose you forever. You are the one every girl dreams about, but the best part is that you are all mine. I started getting more and more comfortable with the idea of flirting with you, and even though you had my number, I never got a text.
To be your support, your sounding board, and your partner in life no matter what it brings? You are the reason that I sometimes get the urge to run down the street laughing. It's just that I want to let you know again how much I am in love with you. I want you to know that even when I am incapable of seeing how lucky and blessed I am to have you, I still am forever thankful. I wish you realized the smallest comment can cause a panic attack after a hard week of holding my in. I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop! Tender kisses from the one who loves you too much, signature. But I can't do that anymore.
I love you and I need you. I want to grow up and grow old with you. One day we will marry and have a houseful of kids. You always say that I taught you how to love, but the truth is, you showed me how to love. I could feel the strength of your support and knew that you were by me, walking shoulder to shoulder, omnipresent and omnipotent. I love talking with you, discussing current events, or just our normal days.
We've been through so much and you've been there for me through thick and thin. I always assumed that we had so much time. There is no one else I would rather lay up at night and talk with about crazy things that only the two of us could even think of. We are perfect for each other: our zest for life, our stubborn determination, and our looking at the world with a cockeyed sense of humor. Even now I still ache. And I cannot wait to have a lifetime of memories with the man I love.
I love you deeply, my darling. All I want is for you to be happy and healthy, be around to see your children grow up and so you can walk your daughter down the aisle when she gets married one day. As I watched it happen, I felt pieces of myself, my soul, disintegrate and disappear. I had to finish what I started. Despite all of the immense pain, I still firmly believe that it is better to have love and lost, than never to have loved at all. I know that you always wanted me to be happy.
I tried to stop, fearing I looked like a witch, but I could not. I think about you all the time. Does every single person in the world have one? You have that power to transform me into the figure of your imaginary perfection. Thank you for missing out on things for me because I know it bothers you. I would like to share a few of those blissful instances with you through my words though words will come nowhere near the actual feelings that welled in me during those sublime moments. I am committed to us.
Now, I can't imagine my life without you--the idea of one day without you is painful to think about! My mind slips away to moments we shared. Nobody's perfect, and I'm aware of my faults, but you're the only person who can make me better. I slowly came around to the idea that I wanted you in my near future, not wanting to get hurt. Unexpected devistation is the only way to explain it. Not only did I see that our relationship was thriving, but I know we both felt fire inside.